Sunday, July 5, 2009

Poop: 1. Me: 0.

Michaela: no accidents
Maeve: 5 successful trips to the toilet for pee, four pairs of peed in panties, two pairs of wet shorts, one pair of pooped in panties
Alasdair: 2

Oh. My. Lord.

It was a day from hell today. Everyone keeps telling me to "not count" today, but it's hard to not count it when you're still living it. I took all three kids to the zoo today with my sister's family. We were there for over 5 hours. No naps. No extra money for bribery and sugary snacks. It was fun and it sucked all at the same time.

Frist off, Michaela was a trooper (as was my sister's family). It's not easy to go to a place like the zoo with a 3 1/2 year old who is potty training. It takes a long LONG time to get through places, and you end up seeing every single bathroom in the whole place more than once.

Here's a rundown to the best of my memory. I'm secretly trying to block it out to save my sanity.
Leave my house.
Get gas.
Stop by my mom's house to try to find something that my sister lost.
Feed the kids the lunch I packed for the zoo in the car at my mom's house.
Drive to the zoo.
Get in to the zoo.
See the giraffes and some ostriches.
Take Maeve to the bathroom.
See hippos and lions.
Take Maeve to the bathroom because she's digging at her butt.
See the tapir, elephants, orangutans, siamangs.
Take Maeve to the bathroom because she's digging at her butt again.
See the raptors, tigers, sloth bears, sun bear, penguins.
Take Maeve to the bathroom because she's digging for gold.
Maeve refuses to try to poop on the potty.
We get 20 feet from the bathroom door and she says she has to go potty.
I tell her too bad.
Eat a snack at the food court.
Maeve pees next to the table.
Clean up Maeve and change her panties and shorts.
Change Doodie's rancid fruit diaper.
Other adults and older kids go to the nocturnal house.
Maeve pees while squatting on the park bench outside.
Change Maeve's panties and shorts.
But I'm out of shorts and panties.
Put Maeve in Michaela's panties and tell her she's not allowed to get out of the wagon now because she's half naked.
See colobus monkeys and the gorillas.
Maeve tells me she has to pee.
I tell her too bad.
She pees in the wagon.
She has to sit in the pee until we leave.
I pick up Doodie and put him on my hip.
I feel the wet spot on his shorts.
I set him down and notice that his newest rancid fruit diaper has leaked all over his shorts.
And on my shirt.
Change Doodie's diaper and let him go bottomless for the rest of the afternoon.
See the flamingos, some other crappy birds and the lame ass petting zoo (complete with miniature cows that look like full grown cow bodies on pig legs).
Leave the zoo before I start crying like an idiot in front of a bunch of strangers.
Get home and feed the kids fruit snacks while dinner is cooking.
Maeve pees in the back yard.
Eat dinner.
Maeve poops in her pants.
Clean up, story, bedtime.

Now I'm drinking a mojito and trying to forget to day ever happened. :)

I'll post some pics of the trip and the aftermath after I dig out my computer from under the laundry pile and attempt to get the photos off my camera's memory card.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hahaha! I remember this day! I was highly amussed and glad my kids are older and done with potty training :) This is why we stopped having kids! LOL